Making a Difference - Together!

“The clothes looked as if they hadn't left his body in weeks. His pants were torn and a tattered scarf hung around his neck like a piece of frayed rope. He was trying to keep warm in the bitter cold, but these clothes couldn't do the job. It would have been easy to walk past this man's slightly outstretched hands; we were impatient kids, especially on this occasion as it was mere days before Christmas. We pulled at our mother to move into a nearby mall where brightly lit Christmas trees and carollers beckoned us. But Mom was in no hurry. "Hello. How are you and what is your name?" she asked the man. With genuine caring, she also asked if it had been cold the night before. Then she gave him some change and wished him a happy holiday.

It wasn't the first time our mom had done this, but still we never thought twice about her kind gestures. It wasn't until we saw others cross the street to avoid a homeless person that we realized just how special her simple actions really were. Years later, we also understood the lesson she was teaching us: By not being a passive bystander and acknowledging other people's plight, we respect them and see their humanity -- no matter who they are. “ (C. & M. Keilburger)

It's natural that we want to shield children from situations in which they feel helpless. But this can reinforce the idea that children cannot make a difference. In an effort to protect, we sometimes encourage children to close their eyes and hearts to the suffering of others. And that is how we nurture young citizens who remain on the sidelines of society and accept things the way they are. Are we encouraging and raising a generation of passive bystanders? What can we do to change it?

Children follow our examples. If we ignore issues such as homelessness or a need to help others, so will they. But, if we show them by example, the lessons our nieces, nephews, children or grandchildren will remember are of compassion and awareness that they can make a difference - no matter how small. A while ago, I stumbled upon a ‘poem’ that I find so true:

IF YOU REFUSED

What would happen if each drop
Of rain refused to fall,
Or every sunbeam ceased to shine
Because it was so small?
What would happen if each day
We chose to leave undone

An act of kindness, just because
It was a little one?

(Anonymous)

Indeed, we should always try to do gestures of kindness, no matter how small you think that gesture is, because there is always someone on the other side who needs it and is grateful for it.

So, what can we do? There are many wonderful ways to teach young people to show compassion and generosity. The best way is by our own example.

· Volunteer at our soup kitchen or a food bank. It is very rewarding for both children and adults to feel that they made a difference and did something nice for someone else. Take the time to hear some of the stories of the people who use these facilities.

· Collect toys and clothing your family no longer uses. Donate them to Reiyukai and we will distribute it further to shelters and people who need our help.

· Contact us if you have items your family has outgrown such as a crib, bedding, baby clothes, or baby toys, we may be able to give it to those in need.

· Donate a collection of used children's books that we can give to a family shelter.

· Ask your friends, family members or co-workers to bring a pair or two of warm socks, hats, gloves or scarves that we use to make ‘goodie bags’ from and then give to homeless people during our December’s Soup Kitchen event.

· Make a difference at your own workplace. Pick a charity to help. If each person donates a selected item to be given to a shelter (.e.g. you decided to collect undershirts), it will add up to a sizable donation.

· Brainstorm a list of vulnerable people in your community, like the elderly, homeless, blind, new immigrants, and others, and make an action plan to do something to help.

· Encourage your child to ask, Can I help? Little things like holding the door open for strangers, smiling at others or helping around the house will garner gratitude.

· Nurture empathy at your own home.This helps children appreciate that their behaviour affects others and motivates them to be "good" because of the empathy they feel for others. Grounding your discipline in reasoning and explanation, rather than power, sends the message that the more powerful must treat the more vulnerable with justice and respect.

There are many more ways of making a difference and we always welcome your help and ideas.

Dear members, each one of us is needed to make that difference. Let us continue to do it together!

Thank you.

Ivana Vuckovic